On a Night Like This, a modern Cinderella story by Lindsey Kelk

Title: On a Night Like This
Author: Lindsey Kelk
Publication: Harper Collins, paperback, 2022 (published in 2021 in UK)
Genre: Fiction/Chick Lit
Setting: England and Italy

Description: Francesca Cooper is a temp without a current gig and has a fiancé who has lost interest in her. They have an arrangement that she won’t take out-of-town gigs lest he be tempted to cheat on her – ugh! Let's help her find someone better!

You’re Welcome vs. No Problem

I am a serial thanker.  This may be partly because of my experience in service industries or due to innate courtesy.  When living in NYC, I always thanked bus drivers profusely, partly to be nice but also convinced that some day one would recognize me running to catch up and would wait for me.  Recently, I have noticed a disturbing phenomenon: the new default response to a thank you from the younger generation is “no problem.”   However, I do not consider that “no problem” is by any means an equivalent to “you’re welcome” or that it is appropriate in all situations.

When someone says “you’re welcome,” she is making an affirmative representation that providing service to you was, if not her privilege, something that gave her satisfaction.  The transaction is cemented by gracious thanks on your side and polite assurance on hers.

In contrast, when someone responds to thanks with a “no problem,” whether courteously or airily delivered, it implies that there was a problem or that he was not overly inconvenienced by the service provided.  “It was not a problem for me to assist you in this way” or “There is no need to thank me because it didn’t cause me a problem.”   Does that individual intend to communicate churlishness?  Probably not (although the service I receive from some would indicate otherwise) but why not send the thanker off feeling appreciated rather than grudgingly tolerated?  Otherwise, why acknowledge the thanks at all? 

Is this generational, mere informality or a real decline in manners?

Miss Manners

I find myself in similar situation all the time and one yearns to correct these people:

Dear Miss Manners:
As the communications director for a government agency, I respond to written constituent inquiries. In an effort to personalize my responses, I often excerpt from the original missive. For example, "You're agency stnks!"
Should I correct spelling and grammatical errors from the original correspondence or leave them as is? I hate to fudge a quote, but if I don't correct errors, I am concerned the constituent will think the mistakes are mine, putting my agency in a bad light.
Also, it seems rude to point out someone's errors when they have taken the time to share their concerns. My agency does not yet have a policy regarding this point of professional etiquette.

Response:
But if you correct the quotation, won't the letter writer think, "Stupid bureaucrats -- can't even quote accurately"?
Besides, surely it is a comfort to note that your critics are not, shall we say, discerning.
Miss Manners would consider it polite enough if you preceded the letter writer's words with "as you so colorfully put it . . ."