Friday, November 26, 2010

Things that went wrong on Thanksgiving

Although I followed the directions, the turkey was not cooked in the middle;

Paula Deen’s potatoes would simply not mash (my mother said I should have relied on Mark Bittman instead, which is true, especially given that I have met him and supplied the rest of the family with HTCE);

The stuffing tasted good but didn’t hold together;

The sourdough bread was delicious but was frozen in the middle (I blame this on Wholefoods because again I followed the directions);

The salad was wilted (luckily, no one seemed interested in salad);

The items my mother prepared – her special spinach and sour cream apple pie – were delicious.

I made the first fire in my fireplace and it set off the smoke detector – and the home security system! (yes, I should have waited until the chimney man came to look at the flue; now I know it really does need that missing lever);

I swear I used every plate and every pot in the house, which was a problem because

The brand new disposal resented all the potato peelings and sent them back up the other side of the sink - every time I ran it or used the dishwasher;

The rod in the coat closet (a nice wooden one) broke due to the weight of the coats;

There was more, but these are the highlights.

Luckily, my parents are the opposite of critical, and didn't even complain about the frigid house.

4 comments:

Rebecca said...

I made Bittman's mashed potatoes this year. We also had a problem with the sink backing up. Our plumber told us that the day after Thanksgiving is the worst day of the year for plumbing issues due to "peel" issues.

Chandra said...

Haha! Sounds like a fantastic Thanksgiving to me!

Laurie Gold said...

I am a majorly sucky cook, but all the years we hosted Thanksgiving allowed me to hoodwink relatives and friends. My husband loves to cook and does all of it.

I used to make a wonderful mashed potato dish that could actually be re-heated. IIRC, it used cream cheese.

Jean said...

Hi Constance!! Thanks for the updated address and link to your wonderful blog. Loved the Betsy Tacey ornaments.

Anyway, the hands-down best way to cook a turkey is breast-side down. Counterintuitive, I know, but this keeps the breasts moist because all the juices flow toward them. Also, BRINE, baby, BRINE. Williams Sonoma Buttermilk brine, to be precise.

Sounds like you had a wonderful T-day despite the cooking challenges (which always come on big holidays . . .). Looking forward to staying in touch.